Hearing God about who to marry does not literally mean that you’re going to hear “my daughter, my daughter, Nicholas is your husband”. Two things are important in discerning who to marry; wisdom and prayer. The Bible says wisdom is the principal thing. Another version says “getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do.”
And to wisdom; add prayer. God speaks through wisdom as much as He does in the place of prayer. The name of the person you will marry is not written anywhere in the bible but the description of a Godly spouse can be found in the scripture. Watch out for the fruit of the Spirit in the life of that person. Galatians 5:22-23. It’s the most important criteria. #Selah
Wisdom will tell you who not to marry. Prayer will reveal the mind of God to you. Don’t just pray and neglect the place of wisdom. Most times, God speaks through wisdom. Divine wisdom. Let me also add that the place of counsel cannot be overemphasised. What you cannot see because you’re in love, your spiritual oversights can see it clearly.
Seek Godly counsel. Do not isolate yourself from brethren who can offer you good counsel under God. Knowing who to marry is not meant to stress anyone. It should not be a bone of contention if you follow the right process and open your heart to God. He is going to guide you and He can do that in different ways. Don’t expect it to happen in one particular way.
Get to know the person you’re praying about. You can ask about them from people who are close to them. Their friends, colleagues, ministry partners etc. What you know about him/her will in a way inform your decision. I’m not saying you must be crazy about him/er, but be sure he or she is someone you love to an extent and can build a future with.
Finally, you don’t have to rush yourself into the relationship especially when you’re not so sure that he/she is the one. I’m not saying you should take forever. I mean beyond every iota of doubts, be sure you want to be with this person so you won’t rush out of the relationship the way you rushed in when the storms begin to rage.
The storm of getting to know and understand yourselves. That’s a whole lot. Misunderstanding will be a norm if you don’t learn to understand yourselves. On the long run, it can even ruin your relationship. The storm of dealing with your weaknesses. Lol. Being accountable to each other without excuses. Dealing with sexual urges. Dealing with your pasts, the dirty ones especially. Handling conflicts with wisdom. I mean there are many bridges to cross.
If your relationship is going to end in a beautiful marriage, then you must be willing to weather the storms together. Walking and working as one in agreement. The Bible says “if a house be divided against itself, it cannot stand.” For your relationship to stand, it’s important you’re in agreement as much as you can. May the Lord grant you understanding.